Good Riddence to the Guilt!

I have made a command decision: I refuse to feel guilty anymore. And, I have told my husband to do the same.

I am the definition of a night person. I have been my whole life. It can take, quite literally, hours of laying in bed for me to fall asleep. I have tried all the tricks...reading, watching TV, not watching TV in bed, listening to the radio, cutting back on caffeine, cutting out caffeine late in the day, showering early in the day, eating early enough to digest, but not so early that I'm hungry, melatonin, Tylanol PM...you name it, I've tried it, short of prescription pills. I have probably tried some things you wouldn't think to name. I've heard some horror stories about pills. I am afraid of addiction, to be honest.

I love night time. I always get motivated to do things at night. I would rather stay up and so something than get up early to do it, including showering, cleaning, laundry. I also like the TV at night better than TV in the morning. I like lunch and dinner better than breakfast. Breakfast food never holds me very long. I am always tired in the mornings. Even when I was living in ATL...I didn't work until 10am, I worked until 7:30 or 8pm, I had wedding plans to work on and a nice long day to wear me out, I got into a good routine and I was still tired and cloudy-headed until after I had lunch. I just function better in the afternoons and evenings.

Since I got married, I have not been working. As I have said before, we were only supposed to be here a couple of months and I figured not only was it not worth my time to look for a job, but I could use a little vacation. It has now been 6 months and we are still hoping to be leaving in the next few weeks. But in the meantime, I have fallen into a horrible routine. I stay up VERY late, lay in bed an hour or so before I fall asleep, then, sleep for hours, into the afternoon. I would feel guilty everyday when I woke up, that it was so late. That I had wasted my day somehow. It's just been engrained in me, I suppose. But also, my hubby has to get up in the mornings, not too early, and go into work for an hour or so (I know, we have it rough;) ) But, he ends up sitting on the couch just waiting for me to get up. He would wait for me to work on lunch and he said he didn't want to go do anything, like go to the gym, and then I'd be stuck home alone when I got up.

So, I decided to quit. I will not be haunted by my guilt anymore! I told my hubby not to wait for me. If he wants to go work out, go. I can stand to be home alone for a little while. If he's hungry, eat. I can eat when I get up. I'm a big girl. I have decided I am going to sleep when I am tired and eat when I am hungry. I have nothing I need to do, so why can't I sleep in an "off" schedule. People do it all the time. They work second and third shift and sleep during the day. Let's be honest, I'm not really missing anything. All it does is give me less time to waste. And I do mean waste. I mean, we have bought more clothes than necessary, wasted more gas money, and eaten out too many times in the last 6 months just to get out of the house. I know, it's sounds kinda sad, but it's our life right now. We just spend all day, everyday, killin time together (It's nicer than it sounds). I realized this is may be the last time in my life when I can sleep when I want, and for as long as I want. As soon as we get moved and settled, I plan to go back to school and probably get a job. After that, it'll be career and kids. So I decided to drop the guilt and savour the moment!