Bek's lab

"Sometimes it's best to get your walls knocked down, lose your most cherished constructs, and be fully swept away." --How to Live at the Beach, by Sandy Gingras

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Location: Kailua, HI, United States

I'm a stay-at-home momma to 2 little ones, military spouse, and distributor for Young Living, cooking up new DIY recipes for house and home.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Good Riddence to the Guilt!

I have made a command decision: I refuse to feel guilty anymore. And, I have told my husband to do the same.

I am the definition of a night person. I have been my whole life. It can take, quite literally, hours of laying in bed for me to fall asleep. I have tried all the tricks...reading, watching TV, not watching TV in bed, listening to the radio, cutting back on caffeine, cutting out caffeine late in the day, showering early in the day, eating early enough to digest, but not so early that I'm hungry, melatonin, Tylanol name it, I've tried it, short of prescription pills. I have probably tried some things you wouldn't think to name. I've heard some horror stories about pills. I am afraid of addiction, to be honest.

I love night time. I always get motivated to do things at night. I would rather stay up and so something than get up early to do it, including showering, cleaning, laundry. I also like the TV at night better than TV in the morning. I like lunch and dinner better than breakfast. Breakfast food never holds me very long. I am always tired in the mornings. Even when I was living in ATL...I didn't work until 10am, I worked until 7:30 or 8pm, I had wedding plans to work on and a nice long day to wear me out, I got into a good routine and I was still tired and cloudy-headed until after I had lunch. I just function better in the afternoons and evenings.

Since I got married, I have not been working. As I have said before, we were only supposed to be here a couple of months and I figured not only was it not worth my time to look for a job, but I could use a little vacation. It has now been 6 months and we are still hoping to be leaving in the next few weeks. But in the meantime, I have fallen into a horrible routine. I stay up VERY late, lay in bed an hour or so before I fall asleep, then, sleep for hours, into the afternoon. I would feel guilty everyday when I woke up, that it was so late. That I had wasted my day somehow. It's just been engrained in me, I suppose. But also, my hubby has to get up in the mornings, not too early, and go into work for an hour or so (I know, we have it rough;) ) But, he ends up sitting on the couch just waiting for me to get up. He would wait for me to work on lunch and he said he didn't want to go do anything, like go to the gym, and then I'd be stuck home alone when I got up.

So, I decided to quit. I will not be haunted by my guilt anymore! I told my hubby not to wait for me. If he wants to go work out, go. I can stand to be home alone for a little while. If he's hungry, eat. I can eat when I get up. I'm a big girl. I have decided I am going to sleep when I am tired and eat when I am hungry. I have nothing I need to do, so why can't I sleep in an "off" schedule. People do it all the time. They work second and third shift and sleep during the day. Let's be honest, I'm not really missing anything. All it does is give me less time to waste. And I do mean waste. I mean, we have bought more clothes than necessary, wasted more gas money, and eaten out too many times in the last 6 months just to get out of the house. I know, it's sounds kinda sad, but it's our life right now. We just spend all day, everyday, killin time together (It's nicer than it sounds). I realized this is may be the last time in my life when I can sleep when I want, and for as long as I want. As soon as we get moved and settled, I plan to go back to school and probably get a job. After that, it'll be career and kids. So I decided to drop the guilt and savour the moment!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Is This the Day?

I had a bit of a moment like my mom last night. It happens to all of us from time to time. But this one wasn't frightening as others could be ;) I know a lot of you keep up with her blog and you know about her Lyrics I Feel posts. I had a song pop into my head last night that resonated with me. Like everyone in my family, music is special to me. I've been accused of knowing every song, ever. The most minor things trigger songs that stick with me. But this one was really out of nowhere. It was really late, about 4am (yea, I basically stay up all night and sleep all day since I'm not doing much. But, even 4 is late for me, mom!) I was getting ready for bed. Now, remember way back to Sunday school...
This is the day
That the Lord has made.
I will rejoice
And be glad in it.

I've been really frustrated lately with this limbo I've been in. We have been "supposed to be leaving" this town "probably next month" since I got here...6 months ago. But, my husband has had a change in work. Sort of. He's in the military and was dropped from the program he was training for a few months ago. It's a really long story and basically it was a series of unfortunate events, plus he was screwed over a little. Anyway, since then, he's been trying to get into a different program. He went 2 weeks ago to interview for the new program, his first choice, and the guy there told him they'd probably have some news for him in 7-10 days. But he also told him the guy in charge at that base would have to approve it if the interview people voted to accept him. If they voted no, it would end there. Well, today is Day 14. We are taking the delay as more likely good news. But, since this song popped into my head, I though, hey, maybe "This is the Day!" I was getting kind of excited. I'm really anxious to know. I'm ready for news. Any news. I feel like we are just stagnant and I can't move forward in anything until I know what we're going to be doing and where we're going to be living in the next few months.

Unfortunatly, today was not the day. It was a little bit, I guess. He found out there was some clerical mishap on some paperwork and the new base has requested they make a couple changes. Nothing was wrong, it was just a matter of 2 offices doing things differently. At least we know why there's been a delay. But I was disappointed about my song. Then, I realized that this day too, this Day 14, is the day that the Lord has made. I was too focused on that first line of the song. I should rejoice in this day also, and be glad in it. Rejoice that we are together. Be glad that we have time to spend together.
So, whether it's big-good-news-day or just another day, we should rejoice.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Local News Makes National Headlines

Now, when I lived in Atlanta with my parents, or even in Florida, it was not uncommon for a local incident to make national news. You've all heard about missing children from Florida or about that courtroom shooter in Atlanta. But, down here, in South Texas, it's a bit more rare, unless of course, we are talking about immigration. I don't know if you've heard about this story or not, but it's definitly noteworthy.
One day last week, a 14-year-old boy stayed home sick from school with his mother. An assailant broke into the home to rob it. He tied both residents up. He was armed and threatened to kill both of them as he pillaged the house. The boy managed to get free and get his father's shotgun. He shot and killed the burglar and called the police.
Having shot and killed a man, the boy was taken into custody, but today, the grand jury decided not to file charges against him, and I applaud them.
I studied criminal justice in college, and too often victims who fight back end up being victimized by the system. Most women in prison for murder, in particular, are ones who murdered an abuser. Rape victims are often put through the wringer and doubted every step of the way. There is so much protection out there for "suspects" and "defendants" that so often, the victim and victims' rights are lost in our pursuit of offenders.
I am glad this grand jury did not forget that this boy was a victim. We do still have the right to defend our lives and our loved ones. What do you think?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Wedding #2 pictures

Here comes the bride!
Here is the wedding party at each venue. Wasn't it a beautiful Florida day?

Also, here is a nice colorful shot of one of the floral centerpieces.

I love this picture of them dancing, stealin a little kiss.
And how about that cake? Yay for Publix!

Yay, also, for the cooperative blogger! I got through all my pictures! Enjoy!

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Wedding week + Wedding Weekend #2

I know it's getting a little old by now, but I really want to finish me week!
Tuesday, September 19: I went shopping for things to make a bachelorette veil with.

Wednesday, September 20: Met up with my wedding photographer to pick up my album, finally! (It was my fault for not getting my picture selections in sooner). I absolutly LOVE it. It's a "montage album." Basically, that means the pictures were sort of collaged or scrapbooked digitally. It's really very cool.

Thursday, September 21: Bachelorette party! Drove about 2 hours down, back to college town for the party for bride #2. There were 6 of us. We made tshirts to wear, each with different slogans on them (mine said "retired" since I'm already married). We also had a sort of dare list that we split into 2 teams to complete: team varsity (the 3 of us graduates, on the right) and team JV (the 3 girls who were still in college, on the left). Hanging out with the girls is always fun and something I don't get to do very often since I graduated. And, once again, I sat up all night chatting. This time, it was with my friend, Sherri, who was supposed to be in my wedding but couldn't get leave. She lives in CA and I hadn't seen her since we went wedding dress shopping about a year and a half ago.

Friday, September 22: Spent a lot of the afternoon with 2 of the JV girls helping one of them shop for a dress for the wedding. I left them around 3:30 and drove about 2 hours to Tampa to visit one of my best friends. She was my roommate my senior year of college and one of my bridesmaids. I hadn't seen her since my wedding, so I took advantage of the opportunity. We had a chill night, going to dinner and her little brother's high school football game. Then, we just went home and hung out in our PJ's.

Saturday, September 23: Got up and had brunch with my friend in Tampa before hitting the road for the wedding. It as about a 3 hour drive back across Florida. I was staying in the "bridesmaids room" since only 1 of them was going to be using it, and she's my girl Sherri. This place was phenomenal! They had temperpedic beds! I probably took 5 pictures of the hotel suite! was at 5. Outside, almost beachfront. There was a lawn between the patio we were on and the beach. But, we could hear the ocean in the background and it was just lovely. Still pretty warm this time of year in FL, but luckily, we were pretty much shaded. She used a very interesting color combo: the maid of honor wore a fushia/bubblegum pink color and the other bridesmaids wore chocolate brown. The girls carried a hand-picked looking bouquet of fushia roses, orange roses, purple cornflower, purple delphennium, with lots of greenery. It was very pretty. It managed to be very summery and very fall, and very Florida all at the same time. Being on the first day of fall, it was very appropriate. She used larger versions for centerpieces for half the tables. The other half had 3 different height pillar candles encircled with a dense ring of fushia rose petals. The bride's dress was unique. It reminded me of the dress Richard Gere bought Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride, with the satin stripes around the skirt. It had no train, but she wore an 80" veil. She carried white callas. Very pretty. The cake was very classy looking. It was 4 tiers. Each tier had a 3" brown ribbon around the bottom and little pink dots on the top half. Their topper was sort of monogramed with S & K, the bride and groom's first initials. We had an absolutly DELICIOUS dinner and danced away.
Afterward, we all met up at a piano bar downstairs in the hotel I was staying in. Once they kicked us out, around 1:30, the crew staying in my room headed upstairs. I sat up, once more, all night, chatting with a guy who's a good friend of mine and my hubby. He and I have done that from time to time when I would visit my hubby at school. He was one of DH's roommates for 3 years in college. We have an interesting relationship. We can actually hash out disagreements without getting mad at each other and ultimatly agree to disagree and move on. I don't think I've ever met someone who didn't like him, unless they were around him only at parties when he'd been drinking (he got a bit out of hand with that in college, but he's doing better). Those of us who knew the sober and the drunk versions just tried to help control and contain him when he got out of hand. Anyway, we had a good long chat out on the balcony.
(blogger is once again fighting me on pics...hopefully tomorrow...)

Sunday, September 24: Drove back to my sister's Jax. She was going to watch the football game, but I decided to take a nap first. This was when my cold was really settling in. I told you I had really hit it hard. It caught up to me and I slept for about 4 hours. After I got up, I returned my mother-in-law's car and picked up dinner with my sis and my niece. Once again, I was in for a chill night, as I got sicker. I think Sunay night was the worst I was. I was like a NyQuil commercial. It was kinda funny actually.

Monday, September 25: I got up, showered and packed. My aunt picked me up with my grandmother. We picked my niece up at daycare before heading off to the airport. Then, it was homeward bound. The flight was kind of painful with my stuffy head. But the trip was easy enough and soon, my trip was over. Back home with my hubby and my kitty. I really had a great time and I'm so glad I got to do everything and see everyone. Hopefully it won't be too long before I see everyone again.