Roaming my few frequent blog friends over the weekend, a message has resounded with me. I have made the same comment to a few people within just days of each other. This is a statement, or a question rather, that I have thought about before, and don't really have a clear answer to, but I fear I should take it to heart once again:
Where would you be if you'd always gotten what you
thought you wanted?
I have found friends who would never have met their spouse, who would have been stuck in a career they didn't like, not met a multitude of friends they have now. Most of all, they would not have grown into the person they are today. I am in all of those boats myself.
When I was 12 my family moved. It was a very difficult time for me. I was under the impression that our move may be temporary. So, I braced myself for 2 years, wishing and hoping to go back. But, things didn't work out that way. We thought we'd be settling in there and I started high school with that attitude. I became very involved in theatre there. We had a great program, one of the best in the state, that even took us on field trips to New York City. Those 2 trips were some of the best cultural experiences I've ever had. Near the end of my freshman year my parents brought up the prospect of moving again. I literally cried for about an hour. Much to my dismay, we moved a year later, just in time for my junior year of high school.
I had learned this time, though. I decided to embrace things right off this time. I dove in socially, in extra curricular activities, namely drama. I made friends with drama kids, especially the ones who were in my classes, which included this one cute guy in particular...did I mention we're married now? I learned about a scholarship offered exclusivly though the state to state residents to state universities. With my grades, and SAT scores, I was eligible for 100% tuition and fees, plus a book allowance, for all 4 years to any state school in Florida, which I did cash in on, and now, am nearly debt free from my college education, and my parents are completely!
So, let's recap...of the major things I know about, I would not have met my husband, or any of the friends who were in my wedding, for that matter, nor gone to the college I went to, nor gone to college basically for FREE, nor gone to the college I went to, if I had gotten my way and moved home instead of moving to Florida. On top of all that, all that moving prepared me for military life. I'll be a better wife and mother because of it. And keep in mind, that is the short list of things I can easily point to.
Now, I know that it may be hard to see all the time, but God really does know what He's doin with me. As much as I may fight Him, I always end up in a good place. He especially takes opportunities that are out of my hands, like my childhood moves, to plae me strategically. But now, having this message standing out at me, I fear I'm in for another fight. I don't know why I'm afraid, though. Maybe anxious is a better word. I guess it's in our nature to want things our way. My husband finishes his training in October. We'll find out early next year where our first permanant station will be. Let's just say, we have a strong perference...we want to go to Hawaii. It is the one choice that we #1, haven't live before AND #2 I can go to school easily. We only have 3 choices...one is where we went to high school and the other would make each of our commutes long, for me to be able to go to school. Besides, it's Hawaii!!! How cool would it be to be paid to live there?! And, it's only temporary, so we'll be moving back close to home once we start havin kids. It's ideal. We wanna see the world! That's part of what you sign on for with the military, isn't it?
So now, I'm afraid that we aren't going to get it. That would be right in line with us. We're the kind of people who are good people, we work hard and try hard, and often end up getting screwed over. For example, when my husband was in ROTC in college, every summer they take a trip, a sort of internship, to check out different jobs in their branch. His first trip was basics...everyone did it. His second, he put down travelling as his first preference. He didn't care what he did so much, as long as he got to go somewhere. He got a sub trip that went in and out of a base less than an hour from home. His last year, he actually got to go to a jet squad. 3 full weeks hanging with the jet guys. But, he didn't get to fly. Not once. His CO back at school was, let's say, not happy when he heard. That's what he was there for!
Anyway, I'm just waiting for something else to go not according to plan. And I keep telling myself it will all work out for the best, even if we don't get where we want. God knows what's going to be the best place for us. Maybe we'll end up back in Florida afterall, which is close to both our families. Maybe we're supposed to go there because I'll end up pregnant while he's deployed and God knows I'll need to be close to my family. Maybe He wants to protect hubby from having to work in the Pacific rim. Maybe, 3 years from now, that will be the dangerous area with Korea or China. But none of that will keep me from being disappointed come next spring when we finally get word. On the other hand, what we want may be in sync with what God wants for us, and He just wanted me to speak to one of you...
He does work in mysterious ways, doesn't He? So, where might you be...?
